Writing

I’m a writer by heart, but if you’ve read any of this you know I lack motivation. My laziness is overwhelming, and it really stops me from doing many things. I sit in my bed and think of what I can write for twenty minutes, but I don’t get up and just type it on the computer. I’ll type it on a notepad on my phone, but we know that the notes are not going to move over to a blog post. That’s just too many extra steps…

I guess if I look at it with a silver lining – at least I’m writing.

Maybe that’s how I should see it, and get myself to move things over. Instead of motivating myself to write – I should motivate myself to edit, proofread, organize. I might be looking at it completely wrong, which creates an unintentional pause. I’m thinking that creating motivation is less about the ‘just do it’ and more about the steps to get there. I’ve read that creating motivation means you look at things step by step instead of all together, but maybe I need to figure out the small steps in order to see where I’m stopping myself.

That sounds really silly a bit over the top doesn’t it? Maybe I should watch Shia LeBeouf a million times until ‘JUST DO IT’ finally motivates me to do it. That’s how it works, right?

Organization and the brain?

Right before I started writing this I organized my music files. I moved, listened, and deleted the music so it was exactly how I wanted it in my phone. That way I can listen to the music I love every now and then.

So…Rarely.

It’s one of the things I really enjoy doing , but I honestly never do it. But when I do organize books, movies, music, folders, paper I have such a blast that I’ll do it until it is exactly right. I could do it for hours if I wanted to…but I rarely think of it. I think doing that on a regular basis would keep me motivated.

But why don’t I think of it?

It could be laziness, which is valid, but doesn’t laziness have to do with not doing something you were planning on doing it? Isn’t it one of those “Oh, I don’t feel like it today”.  It’s not like I stopped myself from doing it, I just didn’t think about it at the time…or maybe that’s our brain. Maybe laziness changes the way the brain works and stops you from thinking about how those post-its don’t line up, or the painting on the wall isn’t completely straight…or how your clothes aren’t stacked up in colors.

I decided to look up the difference between OCD and laziness. I chose to compare the two because in my mind OCD can be a compulsive need to organize and keep things aligned, while laziness doesn’t. Also, OCD is a disorder that has been researched and you can actually find scientific information.

My little research in the past five or ten minute led me to believe that serotonin plays a role in organization vs. laziness. So, I suppose the reason I am feeling joy when I am organizing things is because my serotonin levels are in balance at the time. But the reason I forget to do it, or don’t think about it, is because my serotonin levels are normally out of whack and in abundance.

Maybe I’m on to something?

Who knows…

Laziness

This is a term that is considered a bad thing to be, and it is. It’s a term that many people don’t want to be called and if they are then they will become very defensive. I had a friend who was just as lazy as I am, but she was in denial about it. When I mentioned how we need to fix our laziness her response “Well..I wouldn’t call it lazy.”

We didn’t clean our rooms for a month or so….that’s not lazy?

It’s something I have to work through everyday. The reason I am not writing in this blog on a regular basis is 1. Lazy 2. Procrastination. I believe both of those go hand in hand, but the latter is more acceptable. It’s okay to admit to procrastination because everyone does it, and you’re going to do it eventually. It’s not okay to admit to laziness because it’s just not. I can’t really explain the reasoning behind it except for the connotation of the word.

The problem with it not being acceptable is that you’re now in denial. You are denying that the reason you are procrastinating is because you’re being lazy. Denial makes it extremely difficult to change. A person is more likely to change their habits of laziness if they admit they are being lazy than they are to change their procrastination habits.

For example…yesterday I was going to write an entry here, and I told myself “Oh…it’s okay I’ll do it later” (procrastination), I didn’t end up doing it. Today, I said the same thing, but then my second thought was “I’m being lazy.” and BAM here I am writing about laziness.

That could be considered lazy because I didn’t have the energy to think of something else, but at least I’m writing. That’s energy in itself.

As people we need to remember that denial is our worst enemy. When we notice something we have to acknowledge it and analyze if it’s actually affecting us. We have to admit to our faults in order to change them, and if we continuously ignore them then we won’t move. We will continue to dig our little hole until we can’t get out.