We all know the phrase “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and hear people talk about how confidence makes a person beautiful. This should be true, but one thing that we also know is that makeup enhances beauty, and that society dictates what is deemed beautiful with their entertainment and advertisements.

If someone doesn’t understand this then they are a bit delusional, which is kind of cool.

A person who believes that society doesn’t dictate general beauty standards makes me happy, because that means that they might not fooled by the media. That means that they actually see their own perspective of beauty, and expect everyone else to see it too. At least that’s the optimistic viewpoint anyway, which I like to be if I can.

I used to be that person. I was told that makeup would enhance my beauty and make guys look at me, but I believed that the right guy would see me, and find me beautiful. I believed that I was beautiful enough without makeup and that the opposite sex could see that. I understood that makeup helps you express yourself just like clothes and hairstyles, but I always felt my face expressed myself. So…I didn’t want or feel a need to wear makeup.

I still don’t wear makeup, but I don’t think it’s about the above. I think it’s more of the fact that I’m not a size six or eight, so I’m compared to women who are that size when I go out in public. Now it’s just painful to fix myself up when I’m not going to be looked at because I’m not a certain size. It’s something that I try to ignore, but that rejection is painful which doesn’t help my path on getting healthy.

I say this because sadness, depression, loneliness, isolation and all of these negative feelings do not create a positive environment for enhancement. Generally speaking the brain responds to this negativity by shutting down, or finding easy dopamine fixes. The dopamine fix could be drugs, or food, or overly working out. Addictions.

I’m not saying that everyone who goes through this are addicts, because they’re not…but they do go into a pit that is ridiculously hard to get out of. It doesn’t help when strangers are just telling you what you already know. They’re adding fuel to the fire that’s already burning and making it hard to douse out.

I imagine many people would call this an excuse, cop out, blaming everyone but myself, and that’s something I already expect people to believe…so you don’t have to tell me.