Last night I lost, who a thought, was a good friend. We would have intense discussions that could lead into arguments. We would group up and game together on a regular basis, and I thought we had fun doing it. We had the same kind of humor, dry and sarcastic, which resulted in some pretty fun conversations.
Apparently….he always hated me and he had “suffered for too long” (his words) being around me, and he was done with it.
I’m trying so very hard to understand what I did wrong and when I did it. The only time I can think of I apologized and tried to fix it. I explained to him exactly what happened and that I didn’t mean to isolate him or anything, but apparently it didn’t matter. He was already done with me.
I’m not a terrible person. I have my negative moments and I can be a bitch at times, but I would never ridicule or hurt someone on purpose. If someone asked me to stop doing a certain thing, I will stop. If someone tells me that I’m being mean, I will stop. If someone tells me that I’m hurting them, I will stop. I will look at what I did wrong and fix it so that it won’t happen again.
It’s weird how friendships can be good until they’re not. In my perspective, he would sometimes look down on me for my ‘ignorance of topics’ and suggest I’m stupid. However, in his perspective I was the one that was looking down on him. I was the one that was blocking his sunlight and making it horrible to be around.
Perspectives are different, and the only way to really understand the other’s perspective is to learn about it. I can sit here and contemplate why he feels a certain way, but I will never know unless he tells me. I will never know unless someone else shows me what I did wrong. You can’t know something you don’t know.
I’m not going to stress about it anymore. I’m not going to let it eat at me or make me cry again…I’m not going to try to figure it out, because honestly there is nothing I can do to fix it.
Sometimes people are just not meant to be in each other’s life…